Counselor's Corner

Saturday, February 17 is Random Acts of Kindness Day. When I think about random acts of kindness, I think about paying at the drive-thru for the person in the car behind me, sharing something with a stranger, giving a hug to someone who doesn't otherwise have any human touch. 

It got me thinking...What if every day was random acts of kindness day? What if we made kindness the norm and not the exception?

At Shawsheen we talk about bucket filling behaviors, ways to make our love spots grow and how we can show respect. When this happens, the fog lifts! We feel great and we smile but it lasts only a moment and then the fog rolls back in.

My goal is for all of us to focus on putting the effort to really appreciate and reflect on what makes our love spot grow. Ask yourself...what is your norm? Where are these moments of kindness? How frequently do they occur? It's hard to answer these questions because we don't fully register these short passing moments of delight.

When we are intentional about noticing and absorbing these moments, it motivates us to create these moments for others. Going out of our comfort zone to do the things mentioned at the beginning of this post is a start.

Let's stop thinking about random acts of kindness and more like intentional acts of kindness. We do so much every day without thinking about it but with intention. What if we added a moment of kindness to that invisible routine? When the alarm goes off tomorrow, I am going to send an uplifting text message to someone before my feet even hit the floor. On my way to school, I'll allow someone to merge and give them a wave and a smile instead of being annoyed as is usually my default reaction if I'm totally honest!

Kindness starts with one. One smile. One compliment. One cup of coffee. One conversation.

Let’s lift the fog and make kindness the norm. 

The month of December brings with it the wonder of the holiday season. As we start to experience more winter-like weather, excitement grows. This is a month that is filled with learning and anticipation. 

Kids have a lot of questions, especially now, about why some people celebrate the holidays differently. We have a diverse population at Shawsheen School, and differences are noticeable more during the holidays, which are deeply embedded with familial, religious and cultural traditions. Not only do our students at Shawsheen celebrate Christmas, but also St. Stephen's Day, the Jewish festival of Hanukkah, St. Lucia Day, Three Kings Day, Chinese New Year, Kwanzaa, Mawlid-el-Nabi, Watch Night and more. (If I've left any off, please let me know! I would love to learn about it!)

Talking to your kids about what their friends observe at holidays is hard when we don't know much about these different holiday traditions ourselves. When you navigate the learning together, you will share the wonder of learning something new with them.

If you see or hear something about a tradition you aren't familiar with, spend some time researching it as a family! The internet and local library, as well as our library at Shawsheen is stocked with amazing books about so many different holiday traditions thanks to Mrs. Patterson! As you read, talk about these traditions as a family. Ask questions like, What do they celebrate that we don't? What do you think looks fun or interesting about that tradition?

Talking to kids about appreciating versus appropriating is important. If you decide to do some of the things in another culture or religion other than yours, as a family, ask yourselves, Are we doing this because it's cool or fun or for a social media photo? How would we feel if someone took part in something we do and used it for their image? Are we being respectful of the tradition and the people who celebrate it? If someone from that tradition were present with us, how would they feel?

Many winter holidays and traditions, regardless of religion or culture, focus on giving. Giving is a universally good idea! Find common ground as you read and learn about different holidays. Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, Chinese New Year and Three Kings Day all have a gift-giving component in their celebrations. Talk as a family about the importance of giving and how all these traditions share this idea. Brainstorm together ways to get together with friends of all traditions and give back to the community at large or those in need. Even when celebrations and traditions are different, giving is a way to bring everyone together.

Spending time learning with your kids make the holidays even more special. Kids feel like their grown-ups know everything and learning together makes great opportunities for conversation about different traditions from all over the world and in our own community.

I wish all our students and families a happy holiday season and hope that 2024 brings good health and happiness to everyone!

This month, as I travel to all the classrooms at Shawsheen School, we will be reading A Little Thankful Spot and discussing what gratitude is and making sure we understand we don't think about being thankful on only Thanksgiving. 

Gratitude is being aware of and thankful for the good things that happen in your life and taking the time to express appreciation and return kindness. Being grateful is more than saying thank you. When you express gratitude, it can actually lead to a stronger sense of well-being. 

We live in a very materialistic world. We live in a world where technology at times seems to take priority over people. Instilling gratitude is now more important than ever! That’s why we need to know how to teach kids gratitude.

I was reading about someone who had a great tip she used with her children and I wanted to share it with you because it's easy! 

It all starts with: hard work, generosity and kindness. Each month, this woman and her kids have a Do Good Day. First the kids had to do chores to earn money to give away! Her kids vacuum, sweep, and take out the garbage and more to earn money to serve others. That’s right, their allowance was used to serve others, not to self-serve.

After they earned their money, they would spend the remainder of the day serving their community. When this mom was asked what her family does, she said, "We are bringing toys to the hospital, dog treats to the humane society, homemade cookies to the local drug and alcohol rehabilitation spot and, best of all, the boys have to do chores to make money and then we are giving it away!"

Her kids got so used to serving others and sharing, they started asking for charity donations in lieu of birthday gifts! How amazing is that? They were so thankful for what they already had, they wanted to give it all back. Her kids felt great and it boosted their self-esteem. All it took was one day per month to teach gratitude. My kids are all in their twenties, but I told them we are going to do our own version of this. 

The message from Have You Filled a Bucket Today? which I read with all the classes last month is you feel good when you help others feel good. The way I see it, this is a win-win! Happy Thanksgiving!

It's so hard to believe that summer has come and gone! A new year at school can be exciting but also a little anxiety provoking for some students. This is totally normal! You might see changes in your child's behavior which might be an indication that they are stressed and worried about this transition to school.

They might talk back or seem angry at home. These big feelings are tough to navigate sometimes and they often can't recognize the root of the problem or how to self-regulate. They also might have physical signs like tummy aches or headaches. This is also common, and while we should treat the headaches, we should also address the worry, which could help relieve the physical symptoms. Maybe your child seems more withdrawn, which is a sign they might be overthinking and ruminating on their worries.

The key to all of this is open lines of communication. Talking about worries, normalizing worries is a great step. It's hard not to become anxious ourselves when we see our child with these big feelings. Resisting the urge to make your child's feelings disappear is tough. Help them to identify and express their feelings. When we show them we are confident in them taking care of themselves and making themselves feel better - because, let's face it, as much as we reassure them and love them to death, the only person who can alleviate their anxiety is them - and when they do the work, they feel proud and confident too.

Another great way to help is to lead by example. Share times when you have felt anxious and what you did to help yourself. When you are anxious, let them know and then model the strategies that help you feel better.

Keeping the lines of communication open with school is also welcome and appreciated! Please feel free to reach out to me at anytime with any questions or concerns! Happy September!

Is it, though? It is so hard believe that spring is a mere three weeks away when there is so much snow on the ground and we are still all bundled up outside. But soon all of us here at Shawsheen will be enjoying regular outdoor recess and playing recess games outside. When I think of spring, my memory brings me back to my childhood and spring cleaning. My mother would clean our home with a vengeance, literally scrubbing winter away, letting it know that it was no longer welcome. The windows were open, the drapes were cleaned, the walls washed and carpets shampooed.

As an adult my spring cleaning is less about the inside of my home, and more about the inside of my mind...getting rid of the mental clutter like stress, anxiety, racing thoughts and any negativity I might be holding onto.

There are three things I try to do year round, but during this anticipation of spring time and sunshine, I focus on putting them into practice with the outside in mind.

1. Mindfulness! I try to get my family to do this with me. I buy adult coloring books and pencils and on a sunny day, I sit outside and try to coax my adult children in the practice, and sometimes it works! It's hard because sometimes I have racing thoughts and and it's hard to focus on what's right in front of me. At Shawsheen School, I teach and practice mindful coloring to the student body. Different from just coloring, it's quiet, your focus is on your breathing and the movement of your hand and the colors you are using.

2. Moving! After a winter of working out inside, when it starts to get warm, I go for walks and practice yoga outside. Often I will take classrooms outside at Shawsheen for a change of scene and a breath of fresh air. We will do activities together that get the body moving and it does us a world of good.

3. Finding Gratitude! There are times when negative thoughts just take over and that's no good for me or the people around me and my relationships with others. Catching those thoughts before they get the best of us is HARD! I try to "catch" them, ask myself if they are helping me in any way, and then I change them, focusing on gratitude if I can. "I'll never understand the reading I am doing for my class." Does that thought help me? No. But I can change it to, "I don't understand it right now. Maybe if I keep reading I'll understand and if I still don't understand I can ask someone about it. I'm glad there are people around who might be able to explain it to me." This is how I try to work gratitude into my day, even amongst the negativity.

I hope you all enjoy the beginnings of warmer weather and take the opportunity to clear out that mental clutter. When your kids see you do this, they will do it too. It's definitely not the spring cleaning of my childhood, but it has a much bigger impact on my life than washing walls ever will!

Feelings of sadness that last throughout the holiday season—especially during the months of November and December—are often referred to as the holiday blues or holiday depression. The holidays are usually viewed as a time of happiness and rejoicing. But for some people, it can be a period of painful reflection, sadness, loneliness anxiety, and depression. Even people who love the holidays can experience the blues during this busy season. The holidays are often a time of high emotion and demands, which can leave a lot of people feeling stressed and exhausted.

This time of the year is filled with busy plans to enjoy our family and friends, to connect with them and share our love and appreciation for one another.  It is also a time to open our hearts to others and share our abundance with those in need.  It seems as though many get caught up in buying presents and the stress that comes with cramming too much into too little time and expecting too much of ourselves. We over schedule our time for holiday parties, shopping and travel.

Let us not forget the spirit of the season. It is not about giving the best gift or overindulging in holiday goodies. The spirit of this time of the year is about opening our hearts to one another. It is about loving and appreciating our family, friends and all of the abundance in our lives no matter what our current environment is offering as far as challenges. It is about being a good person, being forgiving and compassionate, about sharing random good deeds with others to lift their spirits.

Because the holidays mark an impending new year, people may also begin to reflect on the past year and experience feelings of regret or failure. They might think about the goals they had and the things they wanted to accomplish and feel upset if they did not meet those expectations.

It isn't just adults who are prone to seasonal sadness. Changes in routines, dealing with family problems, missing friends and feeling stressed around the holidays can all contribute to feelings of sadness and depression in kids. 

As we head into the next week and begin later in the month to make our New Year’s resolutions, let us choose to be in this state all year through! Let us enjoy one another every day. Let us be of service to others all year through. Choose to be a forgiving and compassionate person all the time. Share your gifts and talents with others and be in your light every day. Choose to focus on what is most important and all the abundance in your life, your family, friends, having a roof over your head, clothes on your back and food to eat. Decide to be a new you this year, the real you that wants to shine through. Step into happiness and joy and share the bliss with others this holiday season! Embrace 2022 with a new attitude ready to open your heart to love yourself and others all year through!

Wishing you and yours joy in your hearts and peace in your souls this holiday season and always! 

Each year at Thanksgiving a common thread of discussion is around things we are thankful for. I've been doing a lot of reading about the impact on our brains when we are focusing on gratitude and the data shows amazing things!

Zeroing in on the activity of practicing gratitude, scientists have learned that over the past decade people who consciously count their blessings tend to be happier and less depressed.

Always the skeptic, because most research studies on gratitude have been conducted with well-functioning people, I dug a little deeper to see how gratitude might be beneficial for people who struggle with mental health concerns. I was astonished by the data!

One study randomly assigned study participants into three groups, all of which received counseling services already. The first group was instructed to write one letter of gratitude to another person each week for three weeks, the second group was asked to write about their deepest thoughts and feelings about negative experiences and the third group did not do any writing activity.

The findings were this: compared with the participants who wrote about negative experiences or only received counseling, those who wrote gratitude letters reported significantly better mental health four week and 12 weeks after the exercise ended. This suggests that gratitude writing can be beneficial not just for healthy, well-adjusted individuals, but also for those who struggle with mental health concerns. It seems, practicing gratitude on top of receiving psychological counseling carries greater benefits than counseling alone, even when that gratitude practice is brief.

The results also indicate that gratitude might actually work on our minds and bodies. Gratitude unshackles us from toxic emotions,  gratitude helps even if you don't share it, gratitude's benefits take time and gratitude has lasting effect on the brain.

Holidays are tough for some of us. Let's take some time to think about what we're grateful for and put pen to paper; the lasting effects, according to science are worth it!

Have a blessed Thanksgiving with your families!

Here we are just a few weeks into the 2021-22 school year. This year, like last year, we are all wearing masks in school and we are all flexing our resilience muscle. I am so amazed at the way in which our students at Shawsheen are adjusting to life at school. We are all, teachers and students alike, and parents, too, experiencing some increased levels of anxiety and this is totally normal. As we move into the school year, we will learn all different ways to flex that resilience muscle and articulate our feelings and learn how to cope. If there are any times where you would like help with this with your child, please feel free to reach out, and also check out my Literacy Connection page for books that you can read with your student that might help. You can find most of them, if not all, on youtube as a read aloud. Mrs. Patterson also has many of them in the Shawsheen Library. We can do hard things if we all work together. I look forward to working with our families to support our students and have an amazing school year!

As we move into the winter holiday season, it is hard to imagine holiday cheer without a little sacrifice and heartbreak. How can we possibly be without our extended families and friends and feel the excitement of this special time? How do we explain to our kids that Christmas will be a little (lot) different this year? All we want is for all of this to be over and for life to go back to normal.

Accepting that life will not be back to normal for a long time is difficult, but the key to enjoying our holiday this year is being creative and faking our way through it...fake it 'til we make it! A longstanding family tradition for me is to go to my Nana's for Italian Christmas Eve of seven fishes. In my 54 years, I have never missed a one. This year we will not be together and I am not happy about it. But my cousin and I are planning something different and safe for all of us to be together like we did for Thanksgiving (see blog post for November). We are hosting a caroling group from the high school in my town and my family will all be there outside, complete with hot chocolate and electric blankets and patio heaters and we will enjoy about a half hour of carols all together. We have never done this before and I know it will be fun. Christmas Eve is a different story; I will attempt to make the seven fishes for the five of us in my family and my aunt is tickled that I am going to try. She is going to zoom with me to make sure I am doing everything I am supposed to. The fact that my 84 year old aunt is willing to go on zoom is making me determined to be successful. This will definitely not be the same, but I can try. I don't really have an alternative!

I am hopeful you will all be able to make some tweaks to your traditions or start new ones (who knows? The carolers might come every year!). Being excited for new things will help the young people (and all of us who are older, to be truthful) reach acceptance about what this year has to offer. I wish you and yours a happy and safe holiday season. I challenge you all to have more fun than you ever imagined possible!

November is a time of gratitude. Given the state of our nation and the world in this global pandemic, it is sometimes hard to focus on those things for which we are thankful. 

This past weekend, after the Halloween decorations were put away, I hosted my extended family (about a dozen of us) for an outdoor Thanksgiving celebration since we are assuming that getting together in someone's home on Thanksgiving Day is not going to happen. My cousin and I made all the preparations and together we pulled off a great, albeit different, Thanksgiving gathering that would have made our Nana proud. We went around the table and each said what we are thankful for, something we haven't done in quite some while. The common thread in this tapestry was gratitude for family and ways we can adjust to be together. 

As we move through this month, I am going to focus my thoughts on just that, and try to leave all the worry and garbage out of my mind! I too am grateful for your children, that I get to know them and develop relationships with each and every one of them. Thank you for sharing them with me! Happy November!

Happy March to all the families at Shawsheen! I always am excited when March comes, because like the saying goes, "March comes in like a lion and out like a lamb." Not only is March the month of new beginnings and spring springing and warmer weather, it is also a time where we see the blossoming and maturing of our students at school. Because we have no holidays or vacations, barring any snow days (fingers crossed it will be a different March this year than last!), their growth will be noticeable and much! 

I have started my Parent Resource page on this website and hope you will avail yourselves of it as your needs arise. I can always add to it, so if you have any ideas about what you would like to see on there, please let me know and I can research and add as needed. Please feel free to reach out at any time!

Happy March and happy (soon!) Spring!

Happy February! Boy it's cold! But nothing warms my heart more than to see students be kind to one another and the adults in their lives. Sunday, February 17, 2019 is National Random Acts of Kindness Day. Kids LOVE this and they love seeing the grown-ups they love do these random acts! When teaching them about it, the key is teaching them that it is something that you do that you keep a secret, no one knows that it's you who does it. A Girl Scout troop got permission from their principal to go into a school to put post-it notes with affirmations on all the lockers in the school over the weekend so when students came in on a Monday, they were met with a positive message. A student here at Shawsheen told me about when she went to McDonald's with her family through the drive-thru, the car in front of them paid ahead of time for their meal...she couldn't have been more excited to share this with me! We talked more about it and she left our conversation thinking of a way she could fulfill a random act of kindness for someone else. We should all build on this momentum! I charge all families at Shawsheen School to think about a random act of kindness to commit on Sunday, February 17. Let's start a kindness revolution right here in Wilmington! 

New Year's Day. A fresh start. A new chapter in life waiting to be written. New questions to be asked, embraced and loved. Answers to be discovered and then lived in this transformative year of delight and self-discovery. This is my favorite beginning of the year quote by Sarah Ban Breathnach. While coming back to school the first week in January is always a challenge after a delightful time with family and friends, getting back into the routine is always a good thing! I talk with students during this time about having a clean slate, a fresh start...almost like hitting that Staple's button and instead of hearing the words, "That was easy," we would hear instead, "Move forward with a clean slate." Letting kids know that while it's important we can learn from what's happened in the past, it's not necessary to drag the past around with us. We learn from our mistakes, not get bogged down by them, and this is the perfect time to shed the past and look to the future. Wishing all the Shawsheen School Family a happy, healthy, prosperous and thoughtful 2019!

December is such a busy month, more so than other times of the year. Not only are we trying to navigate our regular crazy schedules, the ramping up to the holidays brings the next level crazy! All the activities and get-togethers are so fun, but the stress is often more than we can take! Each year I was trying to find everyone on my list the most perfect gift, panicking as time got closer...when I really sat down and thought about it, I truly was not enjoying the Christmas/holiday season at all. I went to a parent class offered at my kids' school one evening, and I hemmed and hawed about going, but because it was being taught by a grandfather of one of my son's friends and my Dad's golf partner, I went. Wow, were my eyes opened! George was inside my head! The holidays were put into clear focus and perspective for me. It is not about gift-giving, it's about being together with the people we care about. George cited memories of people he heard asking children, "What did you get for Christmas?" and encouraged us all to reframe the question to, "Who did you spend the day with? What did you do together?" This is more in line with what we are trying to teach our children...caring less about the what and more about the who, and not taking a day off from those lessons, especially at Christmas. Subsequent to taking this course with George, I shifted my focus. I told friends and family about it, and now we are having experiences and spending time together over the season, and maybe only exchanging a small gift that we have made beforehand, or maybe we're baking cookies or breads together, spending an evening singing carols or an afternoon preparing and serving dinner to the homeless. The point is that we are all together. It sounds so simple, but I needed George to point it out to me. This has changed the holiday season for me, and more important, for my children, now 20, 19 and 17. Our traditions still include baking cookies with their cousins on Christmas Eve before the big family gathering, and playing games on Boxing Day with their grandparents; if you asked them, they would say those are their favorite memories. They have long forgotten the things, but forever will remember the time and the people. Parents, give yourselves a break and truly enjoy your loved-ones without 50 trips to the mall. This is going to be a challenge, given all the advertisements our children are bombarded with to consume more and more on a daily basis. George, sadly, has since passed, but his wisdom lives in me, his family and I think (hope!) when I am long gone, my kids will adopt George's philosophy. Please feel free to reach out to me if you would like some help identifying some age-appropriate experiences for you and your families to enjoy. I hope you all truly enjoy the season and the break with your families and friends, no matter what or how you choose or choose not to celebrate. Enjoy one another!

This month, we are focused on why we are thankful. We will talk a lot about this in school. I'm thankful for my family, friends, and colleagues.  I'm thankful to have a wonderful school to work at each day, a school that embraces and supports social emotional learning. I'm thankful for all that I've been given in my lifetime.

I'm also thankful for all of you. I enjoy working with you to get to know your children and supporting their growth at school. Thank you for entrusting them to me! Enjoy the next few weeks leading up to Thanksgiving and my hope is that you take time to reflect on the things for which you are thankful and talk about it at home! Many blessings to the Shawsheen School community. 

Welcome to school year 2018-19 at Shawsheen Elementary School!

As the School Counselor, my involvement with the students takes place in several ways, focused on the social, emotional and behavioral health of all students here at Shawsheen School. One function of a school counselor is to implement whole-school and classroom programs that take place with the entire class and school assemblies.We focus on mindfulness, bucket-filling, anti-bullying, character education, social thinking skills and more! 

Another purpose of the counselor is to facilitate student groups held during lunchtime. These groups are great for any student, including students that have difficulty making friends, those that enjoy small groups, children that can serve as role models and new students. In these groups we play games and work on important social skills, such as, taking turns, active listening, communication and assertiveness.

I am also available to meet with parents. I regularly attend IEP meetings and parent-teacher conferences. As needed, I can meet with parents individually to discuss specific concerns or to serve as a liaison for families needing community resources. In order to make your student's experience at Shawsheen the most productive and positive, it's important that we keep the lines of communication between home and school open. I welcome your expert insight on your student and look forward to developing a great working relationship.

Please feel free to contact me at 978.694.6030 if you have any questions or concerns. Looking forward to another great school year!

Respectfully,

Lisa Frasca Gibbs, MEd 

May, 2018

Happy Spring - FINALLY!!!!

Thank you to the families who filled out my survey from last month. I look forward to working closely with you in providing you with the resources you need to support your children.

As we move into the last weeks of the school year (can you believe it????), there is a lot of discussion about moving on to the next grade level, and for our third graders a new school as well.

Your child may have some questions about what next year will be like and I encourage you to talk about it at home and let your child's teacher or me know if he or she is showing any signs of anxiety or if there are any questions that you aren't quite sure you have the answer to.

The third graders will be taking a tour of West School in June (dates coming soon) and hopefully any anxiety up to that time will be quieted once they see their new school and meet the staff as well as get a lay of the land! If you have any questions at all, please reach out to me at any time.

March, 2018

Hello Shawsheen Families!

This month I am asking you all to participate in a short survey because I want to find out what you would like from me. Please fill out and submit by April 13. I want to hear from you and give you what you need! Thanks for your help in determining how to support you and your children for the rest of this school year!

February, 2018

Hello Shawsheen Families!

February is Random Acts of Kindness Month and we will continue at Shawsheen School to focus on kindness and bucket-filling.

Random acts of kindness are unexpected and the recipient of the kindness typically does not know who the giver is. This is a great exercise for kids to start to understand that kindness is not about the thanks they get when they are kind, but the satisfaction they feel when they know their kindness has made someone feel good. Like we read about in Have You Filled a Bucket Today?, you feel good when others feel good!

For some Random Acts of Kindness ideas for you and your family to practice, click on this link...

https://www.randomactsofkindness.org/

Random Acts of Kindness Week begins on February 11 and culminates with Random Acts of Kindness Day on February 17, while we are on winter vacation. 

Enjoy!

January, 2018

Happy New Year, Shawsheen Community! After the break and all the snow and cold weather, it's great to be back at school with the students. We are working hard on Bucket Filling and how to be safe at school on the inside and the outside. 

I will be updating this site monthly about topics that might be timely and of interest to you. If there is ever a topic you would like more information about, please let me know and I would be happy to share on this site. You can contact me at lisa.gibbs@wpsk12.com. 

Thank you for the opportunity to work with your children - I so enjoy getting to know them and what makes them tick! Stay warm and happy January!

December, 2017

Welcome Shawsheen Families to my new website! I am always asking students to stretch and go out of their comfort zones, so I had to do it myself and set a good example! Technology is definitely a place where I am not the most comfortable, but I took an online course and developed this site. Each month I will update it with a post featuring a topic that is timely. I will eventually be sending out a survey (more opportunities for me to go out of my comfort zone, for sure) to ask about topics that you might like more information about, so watch this space!

Thanks for your patience as I develop and add to the site. Enjoy!